An Open Letter To The West Yorkshire Police Officers In Possession Of A Recently Discovered Book Bound In Human Flesh

To The West Yorkshire Police Officers In Possession Of A Recently Discovered Book Bound In Human Flesh:

JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE DON’T TRANSLATE IT! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ IT! DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES RECORD YOURSELF TRANSLATING THE TEXT! PLEASE DO NOT VENTURE TO A SECLUDED CABIN IN THE WOODS TO UNLOCK THE SECRETS OF THE BOOK, FORGETTING THAT YOU HAVE RENTED THE CABIN TO SOME FUN-LOVING COLLEGE KIDS OUT FOR A GOOD TIME! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALL MR. BRUCE CAMPBELL, IMMEDIATELY! DON’T LOOK AT IT! PLEASE, LOCK AND CHAIN IT IN A TITANIUM VAULT AND THROW SAID VAULT INTO THE DARKEST DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN! WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME! PLEASE, DON’T READ ALOUD ANYTHING FROM THAT FUCKING BOOK!

Sincerely,

Arod McFoolish

P.S. – I ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT A JOKE! PLEASE DO NOT READ FROM THE BOOK OF THE DEAD! IT WILL SURELY BE YOUR UNDOING! GOD HELP US ALL!

 

23 skidooed by on April 10th, 2006


Say Something.