An Important Message from the Mnemonic Institute of America, or Many Ingénues Accessorize
We at the Mnemonic Institute of America realize the growing concerns that have stemmed from the recent international decision to set specific criteria for planetary bodies and, more importantly, what that means for the future of teaching children the names of the planets.
We’ve all grown quite accustomed to the old standby, “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas,” to instill in the youth of America the names of Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. However, this tried and true sentence may very well be shattered if a new proposal is accepted.
“If the resolution is approved, the 12 planets in our solar system listed in order of their proximity to the sun would be Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Charon, and the provisionally named 2003 UB313. Its discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology, nicknamed it Xena after the warrior princess of TV fame, but it likely would be rechristened something else later, the panel said.” – AP Wire
But worry not, teachers of America, for the MIA is already at work writing new mnemonic devices for the updated group of 12 planets. We have also entered a petition to support the name change of Xena due to the obvious challenge it places upon mnemonic writers everywhere to create a coherent sentence with so few X-words available. Here are our entries so far; we trust that children across the country will find them fun and educational:
- My Very Educated Marketing Consultant Just Sent Us New Planning Committee Xeroxes.
- My Very Egomaniacal Mother Can’t Justify Shooting Uzis Near Playgrounds. Call Xavier.
- My Venereal Extremities Make Countless Jezebels Scream Uncontrollably. Never Play Chuck’s Xylophone.
- Mary Vehemently Encourages Marxist Concepts Just So Unsuspecting Neocons Prolong Causeless Xenophobia.
- Marcus’s Violently Evil Murders Cause Julie Smith Undue Narcolepsy. Play Chuck’s Xylophone.
- Marijuana Virtually Expands Mental Consciousness Just So Ulrich Never Plays Chuck’s Xylophone.
Now go forth, and teach your children. God bless.
Mnemonic Institute of America (or Mighty Icarus Ascends)